This month’s newsletter, like life itself, carries both highs and lows.
And this time, the low feels a little deeper…a little more tender.
I want to share something personal with you, because it became the doorway to this month’s topic.
At the end of February, I lost a dear friend. She had been battling breast cancer for ten long years. Ten years of fighting, hoping, enduring. What makes this even more meaningful to me is that, by what I can only describe as perfect timing, I was able to spend time with her just one week before she passed.
Looking back, it feels as though one of us knew it would be the last time we would speak.
She was the kind of person who always put others first. Always thinking about what she could do for someone else…how she could help…how she could give – sometimes even at the expense of herself.
I remember one of our conversations. I told her that I had chosen to stop my chemo drugs because I believed it was harming my body more than helping it. She gently agreed…but shared that she felt she needed to continue – for her family. She didn’t want to disappoint them.
That was who she was.
At the funeral, her family shared many beautiful words. But one moment stayed with me more than anything else. Her son spoke about the night she passed. He told her she had fought hard enough…that it was time to think of herself…and that it was okay to let go.
Shortly after that conversation, she was taken to the hospital, where she passed a short time later.
As painful as it is to revisit this, there is also something within it that feels like a spark…a question…even a quiet invitation.
If on some level, we can move toward letting go…could we also move toward healing?
For me, the answer is yes.
Understanding NLP
This is where I want to briefly introduce this month’s focus: Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).
At its core, NLP is about understanding how our thoughts, language, and patterns shape the way we experience life – and how we can begin to consciously shift them.
Much of what we think and feel isn’t actually a conscious choice. It’s driven by patterns stored in the unconscious mind, shaped by past experiences and conditioning.
But when we bring awareness to those patterns, something powerful happens.
We create space.
Space to pause.
Space to question.
Space to choose differently.
And sometimes, even the smallest shift can begin to change how we relate to ourselves…and to what we’re going through.
Simple Ways to Begin
- Notice your inner dialogue
Become aware of the thoughts you repeat – especially in difficult moments.
- Soften the narrative
Shift from certainty (“This will never change”) to openness (“I’m open to things improving,”)
- Change the relationship with your body
Move from resistance to support: “My body is working with me, not against me,”
- Pause and interrupt old patterns
Even in breath and a moment of awareness can begin to shift your state.
In closing, I find myself coming back to my friend.
To her strength…her love…and the way she gave so much of herself to the people around her.
And I can’t help but wonder- not from a place of judgement, but from a place of compassion – what might have shifted for her, if alongside everything she was doing for others, she had also felt supported to turn inward…to listen to her own needs…to choose herself just as deeply.
Not to change her outcome…but perhaps to change her experience.
Because this is where the real power lies.
Not in controlling life…but in how we meet it.
NLP, and the awareness it brings, offers us an opportunity to pause…to notice the patterns we’ve been living from…and to gently choose again.
To choose thoughts that support us.
To choose language that softens us.
To choose a relationship with ourselves that includes us – not just everyone else.
My friend’s story is a reminder of just how deeply we can care for others.
And perhaps…a quiet invitation.
To include ourselves in that same care.
Thank you for reading.
